Deep Breaths: It’s OK to Say Disabled

A few facts about me: I’m a cisgender woman. I’m white. I’m a storyteller, a fan of theater, a musician. And I’m disabled.

I know a few of you just made a sad face. Maybe you think about disability as something negative. Maybe you grew up with the idea that it was bad to talk about disability. Maybe you think you don’t know anyone who’s disabled.

But I want you to #SayTheWord. I’m disabled! It’s part of my identity. It’s part of who I am, how I move through the world, and how the world interacts with me.

Maybe you’ve heard the phrase “people with disabilities.” That’s known as person-first language, while “disabled” is identity-first language. There’s nothing wrong with either term – both terms have an important history in the disability community. (If you want to learn more from actual experts, I recommend this piece from Professor Anjali J. Forber-Pratt in Quartz, and this blog post from writer and activist Jody Yarborough.)

For me, though, I’ve found a lot of meaning in identifying as disabled. Putting the identity first simply reflects my real-life experience, and it also makes me part of a community with a shared history and inclusive vision. #DisabilityTwitter, #SayTheWord, #CripTheVote, #DisabledAndCute – all of these hashtags, created by disabled activists, have helped me find a friendly home online with all the best heating pad and stylish cane recommendations (I even got a snazzy cane for my wedding!) and none of the stigma.

I’ve noticed that many people are immediately uncomfortable when I introduce myself as disabled. Some try to ignore it, some ask weirdly intrusive questions as if they need me to prove I earned the label, and some seem to assume disability is automatically devastating. But it’s just a fact – I am disabled.

And I’m not alone – the CDC estimated that 1 in 4 Americans are disabled, and this number is only expected to grow in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. There are many types of disability, and you can’t tell just by looking at someone that they’re disabled. Think about it: you know a lot of disabled people! Do you wear glasses? Do you have asthma? Do you deal with anxiety or depression? What about food allergies? You might be part of the disability community – welcome, friend.

Some days I’m more visibly disabled than others – I often use a cane, joint braces, and kinesiology tape to manage my Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Sometimes I use an inhaler to manage my asthma. But every day, I am disabled. Deep breaths: it’s ok to just say it.